Saturday, April 16, 2011

"One Day's Thought"

CHRISTINA: “How are you???”

It’s a pretty surprising question. I hadn’t expected this question from a girl who’d left me almost five years ago.

ME: “Yeah I am fine doing well, what about you?”

CHRISTINA: “I am doing well, so what’s going on nowadays??”

ME: “Well I have a good job now, and one of your old friend told me that you are in my city isn’t it?”

CHRISTINA: “Yes I am; you are here? I hope we don’t meet anytime…J

ME: “No no, I am working in Bangalore; I’d left for Bangalore the very next day after our convocation. You know I was in a confused state of mind when I finished college, I was totally disturbed and I think you know the reason behind that… but I am pretty good now. New life & new friends… it’s a totally new experience for me… I don’t know how to explain it to you... You might be getting bored.”

CHRISTINA: ”Are you settling down soon?”

ME: “Yea I am… almost…Lots of luck and little bit knowledge…that has brought me to where I am now….”

CHRISTINA: “All the best for your future….”

ME: “Same to you…”


Sometimes the decisions we make will make our paths pretty easy, but what would happen if it is not so? -I don’t know.

I wanted to thank her for helping me to take that decision in an indirect way, but I don’t know, maybe it would hurt her.

Five years… life is moving too fast and even I could not believe that it’s almost five years over after my girlfriend left me. I don’t know why did I talk to her today but I wish I could ask her some more things.

“No no no … why you should waste your time now, sleep tight and wake up early morning for your travel to Delhi” – an inner voice tried to reason with me.

I closed my Facebook and thought to sleep for a while with the same disturbed mind that I got almost 5 years back…

Why I am here?????

I am in a different city now, but I could remember some places here.

I’ve passed through this place when I was in college lots of times, but I’ve never seen her house.

Is it the same place where she lived?

My mind is blank and I am walking towards a house that I’ve never seen in my life.

Is it the same house that she lived?

What is the motivation behind my steps?? - I really don’t know

I could see only one face in my mind now and that is my old girl friend’s…

Did I come here to meet her??

It feels like an unknown force is making me do all this… maybe it’s my subconscious mind…

Who knows??

My feet stopped in front of an old house; I could see an old lady is sitting in the verandah and she was talking to someone over the phone.

But this is not my language, this is different and I can recognize this language.

“I will call you later”, she told over the phone.

She disconnected the phone and started staring at me. I am seeing this lady for the first time and she is staring at me.

Who is this? Why I am here?

Is this is the same grandmother that she used to talk about??

I just smiled and asked “Aunty I wanted to meet your granddaughter…”

I was a bit surprised about myself… I never thought to even ask this question to her…

“Who are you? Why do you want to meet her?”

“I would like to talk to her for a while; I studied along with her in college”

“Ok, wait here for some time I will go and tell her. Well, what’s your name?

The person standing before her doesn’t even know why he has come here, how will tell his name to this old lady… but I’m sure that that my subconscious mind will tell my name without asking me.

“Aunty my name is Martin and I studied one year senior to her in college.”

WHAT?? My name is Martin?? Is it true?? Who knows?! Don’t think too much man… you wait here and see what would happen next.

My guess is true and the only face I‘d wanted to see came out from the house.

After seeing me she got nervous and asked –

”What are you doing here, Martin? We finished off everything 5 years back and you’ve come here again to disturb me... Please don’t come here like this and I don’t want to see you at all.”

“Are you happy? I wanted to talk to you for a while…” I said

“Please Martin don’t disturb me again and you know about my grandma and she would come and ask lots of questions now. Please get out of from here; I neither wanted to see your face nor talk to you.

What the hell am I doing here? I should not have come here at all...

“Ok anyways as your wish, I don’t want to disturb you.” - I said and started walking towards the same direction I came from.

There are some things we cannot control; that’s what had happened here… I was never supposed to do this at all in my life but I did now because of my idiotic mind …


Phone ringing ……

“Wake up Martin… your phone is ringing. “

So was I in a dream till now?

Hmm should I pick this call, but it’s not a familiar number…

Who is going to call me this time of the night…might be something urgent…

I picked the phone.

“Hello”

I know this voice and I am familiar to this but I can’t recognize who is this.

“May I know who this is?”

“I am the same girl who spoke to you just now. Please get out of from here; I neither wanted to see your face nor talk to you”

“But you know that was a dream”, I said

“Martin, sometimes dreams comes true…I know you wanted to tell me something, be ready and come to the Garden where we used to meet in college life.”

“Well, give me some time and I will be there in another one hour, ok?”

“Yeah, that’s perfect. I know you will be there before that because you never change”, she said

“You are right because you know how much I cared you those days. Hope to see the same thing today also”, I replied

“Hey! hey!! One more thing… How do I reach there? You know the time now, it’s almost 2 am!”

“Dreams doesn’t have any time…you can reach there if you really wish to reach the same way you came to my home earlier” - An interesting reply.

This was really surprising to me, but I’m a bit happy now. I never thought that I could meet her once again…

But why did she call me up?? Is that because she too saw the same dream?

Who knows!!... For some questions cannot be answered… it needs to be experienced…

Now I have one more hour time to reach there; I don’t wanted to sleep to get out from this really wonderful occasion, but I could remember the beautiful life I had with her…. those memories are still fresh in my mind…


“How much for this?”

“300 rupees”, the shopkeeper replied

“Get me one and please pack it properly because you know I need to travel almost 5 hours to reach the city”, I replied

My girlfriend likes teddy bear very much and now I am in a market to buy one.

“You can take it now”

I took an auto and started to the railway station. I don’t know how she would feel when I gift this.

Phone ringing… it’s her, Christina

“Hey honey where you are?? Have you started?“

“Yeah dear, now I am halfway though railway station. Where are you now??”

“I am at my aunt’s place today and I will be coming to college directly from there. So don’t wait for me near the hostel. I might not be able to call you today, you know the situation here… take care dear”

“That’s fine…take care and have fun with the kids, madam.”

“Take care you too…”

I wanted to see her smiling face always… she is my first love and I should not leave her …ever.

It’s all past and who knows she might have forgotten all these things...

Yes it’s almost 3 am now; I can close my eyes to reach there …



“How are you Martin?”

“I am fine, perfect”

“I know you wanted to talk me a lot but you are afraid to talk to me, isn’t it?”

“Yes you are right, but I really don’t have an idea that how you would react, so I kept silent when I chatted with you …Now I don’t have anything ask, except…, will you smile for me this one time” - I asked


Christina was taken aback when she heard this, but she smiled that sweet smile, and those sweet memories came back… and the pain of the heartbreak…

“Are you really happy now?”
“Thanks for your co-operation"

You know, once a relation is broken up then it’s not good to talk it, and I especially don’t.”

“Whatever happened, it might be a mistake from my side or your side. Fortunately all went well and I’ve moved on. I don’t know your life, but I hope you too have a good life now.”

Christina smiled, “Yes, all’s good…”

All of a sudden my phone rang.

”I don’t know who is calling me at this time”, I said

“Do you remember this ring tone?

“This is your alarm ring, not a call… we’re almost late now. That bell is the call for you to go back to reality.”

“Yeah I know…before leaving from here I need to see your smiling face once again, can u???”

She smiled again, and those moments swept back again…

“Well now Christina, you have to tell me how can I go back to reality?”

“Close your eyes and you’ll reach where it all started”

Christina started to walk back. She is now so far from my eyesight and I closed my eyes...

Dreams can take a person anywhere he wants as I did it last night… I don’t have any hard feelings now. This is reality and sometimes this is dream…