"One Day's Thought"

CHRISTINA: “How are you???”

It’s a pretty surprising question. I hadn’t expected this question from a girl who’d left me almost five years ago.

ME: “Yeah I am fine doing well, what about you?”

CHRISTINA: “I am doing well, so what’s going on nowadays??”

ME: “Well I have a good job now, and one of your old friend told me that you are in my city isn’t it?”

CHRISTINA: “Yes I am; you are here? I hope we don’t meet anytime…J”

ME: “No no, I am working in Bangalore; I’d left for Bangalore the very next day after our convocation. You know I was in a confused state of mind when I finished college, I was totally disturbed and I think you know the reason behind that… but I am pretty good now. New life & new friends… it’s a totally new experience for me… I don’t know how to explain it to you... You might be getting bored.”

CHRISTINA: ”Are you settling down soon?”

ME: “Yea I am… almost…Lots of luck and little bit knowledge…that has brought me to where I am now….”

CHRISTINA: “All the best for your future….”

ME: “Same to you…”

Sometimes the decisions we make will make our paths pretty easy, but what would happen if it is not so? -I don’t know.

I wanted to thank her for helping me to take that decision in an indirect way, but I don’t know, maybe it would hurt her.

Five years… life is moving too fast and even I could not believe that it’s almost five years over after my girlfriend left me. I don’t know why did I talk to her today but I wish I could ask her some more things.

“No no no … why you should waste your time now, sleep tight and wake up early morning for your travel to Delhi” – an inner voice tried to reason with me.

I closed my Facebook and thought to sleep for a while with the same disturbed mind that I got almost 5 years back…

Why I am here?????

I am in a different city now, but I could remember some places here.

I’ve passed through this place when I was in college lots of times, but I’ve never seen her house.

Is it the same place where she lived?

My mind is blank and I am walking towards a house that I’ve never seen in my life.

Is it the same house that she lived?

What is the motivation behind my steps?? - I really don’t know

I could see only one face in my mind now and that is my old girl friend’s…

Did I come here to meet her??

It feels like an unknown force is making me do all this… maybe it’s my subconscious mind…

Who knows??

My feet stopped in front of an old house; I could see an old lady is sitting in the verandah and she was talking to someone over the phone.

But this is not my language, this is different and I can recognize this language.

“I will call you later”, she told over the phone.

She disconnected the phone and started staring at me. I am seeing this lady for the first time and she is staring at me.

Who is this? Why I am here?

Is this is the same grandmother that she used to talk about??

I just smiled and asked “Aunty I wanted to meet your granddaughter…”

I was a bit surprised about myself… I never thought to even ask this question to her…

“Who are you? Why do you want to meet her?”

“I would like to talk to her for a while; I studied along with her in college”

“Ok, wait here for some time I will go and tell her. Well, what’s your name?

The person standing before her doesn’t even know why he has come here, how will tell his name to this old lady… but I’m sure that that my subconscious mind will tell my name without asking me.

“Aunty my name is Martin and I studied one year senior to her in college.”

WHAT?? My name is Martin?? Is it true?? Who knows?! Don’t think too much man… you wait here and see what would happen next.

My guess is true and the only face I‘d wanted to see came out from the house.

After seeing me she got nervous and asked –

”What are you doing here, Martin? We finished off everything 5 years back and you’ve come here again to disturb me... Please don’t come here like this and I don’t want to see you at all.”

“Are you happy? I wanted to talk to you for a while…” I said

“Please Martin don’t disturb me again and you know about my grandma and she would come and ask lots of questions now. Please get out of from here; I neither wanted to see your face nor talk to you.

What the hell am I doing here? I should not have come here at all...

“Ok anyways as your wish, I don’t want to disturb you.” - I said and started walking towards the same direction I came from.

There are some things we cannot control; that’s what had happened here… I was never supposed to do this at all in my life but I did now because of my idiotic mind …

Phone ringing ……

“Wake up Martin… your phone is ringing. “

So was I in a dream till now?

Hmm should I pick this call, but it’s not a familiar number…

Who is going to call me this time of the night…might be something urgent…

I picked the phone.

“Hello”

I know this voice and I am familiar to this but I can’t recognize who is this.

“May I know who this is?”

“I am the same girl who spoke to you just now. Please get out of from here; I neither wanted to see your face nor talk to you”

“But you know that was a dream”, I said

“Martin, sometimes dreams comes true…I know you wanted to tell me something, be ready and come to the Garden where we used to meet in college life.”

“Well, give me some time and I will be there in another one hour, ok?”

“Yeah, that’s perfect. I know you will be there before that because you never change”, she said

“You are right because you know how much I cared you those days. Hope to see the same thing today also”, I replied

“Hey! hey!! One more thing… How do I reach there? You know the time now, it’s almost 2 am!”

“Dreams doesn’t have any time…you can reach there if you really wish to reach the same way you came to my home earlier” - An interesting reply.

This was really surprising to me, but I’m a bit happy now. I never thought that I could meet her once again…

But why did she call me up?? Is that because she too saw the same dream?

Who knows!!... For some questions cannot be answered… it needs to be experienced…

Now I have one more hour time to reach there; I don’t wanted to sleep to get out from this really wonderful occasion, but I could remember the beautiful life I had with her…. those memories are still fresh in my mind…

“How much for this?”

“300 rupees”, the shopkeeper replied

“Get me one and please pack it properly because you know I need to travel almost 5 hours to reach the city”, I replied

My girlfriend likes teddy bear very much and now I am in a market to buy one.

“You can take it now”

I took an auto and started to the railway station. I don’t know how she would feel when I gift this.

Phone ringing… it’s her, Christina

“Hey honey where you are?? Have you started?“

“Yeah dear, now I am halfway though railway station. Where are you now??”

“I am at my aunt’s place today and I will be coming to college directly from there. So don’t wait for me near the hostel. I might not be able to call you today, you know the situation here… take care dear”

“That’s fine…take care and have fun with the kids, madam.”

“Take care you too…”

I wanted to see her smiling face always… she is my first love and I should not leave her …ever.

It’s all past and who knows she might have forgotten all these things...

Yes it’s almost 3 am now; I can close my eyes to reach there …

“How are you Martin?”

“I am fine, perfect”

“I know you wanted to talk me a lot but you are afraid to talk to me, isn’t it?”

“Yes you are right, but I really don’t have an idea that how you would react, so I kept silent when I chatted with you …Now I don’t have anything ask, except…, will you smile for me this one time” - I asked

Christina was taken aback when she heard this, but she smiled that sweet smile, and those sweet memories came back… and the pain of the heartbreak…

“Are you really happy now?”

“Thanks for your co-operation"

You know, once a relation is broken up then it’s not good to talk it, and I especially don’t.”

“Whatever happened, it might be a mistake from my side or your side. Fortunately all went well and I’ve moved on. I don’t know your life, but I hope you too have a good life now.”

Christina smiled, “Yes, all’s good…”

All of a sudden my phone rang.

”I don’t know who is calling me at this time”, I said

“Do you remember this ring tone?

“This is your alarm ring, not a call… we’re almost late now. That bell is the call for you to go back to reality.”

“Yeah I know…before leaving from here I need to see your smiling face once again, can u???”

She smiled again, and those moments swept back again…

“Well now Christina, you have to tell me how can I go back to reality?”

“Close your eyes and you’ll reach where it all started”

Christina started to walk back. She is now so far from my eyesight and I closed my eyes...

Dreams can take a person anywhere he wants as I did it last night… I don’t have any hard feelings now. This is reality and sometimes this is dream…

Into the garden city (Part-7 "Gayathri, Age 24")

“Hey we are going to help her, I cannot leave her here like this, this is Bangalore and no one will take risk but we are human and we are going to do this now..”. Before saying these words to Manoop, Mahesh and Saneesh a lot of things came through my mind. One day in my college life just rubbed my mind. I still clearly remember the day which ended up with a slap on my face.

I was in 5 th semester when this happened. Me and Jinesh were on the way to university hostel and suddenly the phone rang. I was quiet sure that it was Rafeeq and I told Jinesh to take it. Jinesh is one of the eight among us and we were on the way to university hostel after our second successful political fight in our college. My guess was correct, It was Rafeeq.

“Hey come to PRS hospital fast Jagan’s hand is hurt and is bleeding badly, I am taking him to hospital….” Rafeeq said.
“Auto, Auto”, Jinesh started shouting and all those who were standing at the bus stop started staring. May be they were not staring; it’s our fear in our mind, we have done a lot today but no regrets.

“Where is your mob”? Jinesh asked
“Da it’s with my gal, how can I go and collect the mob when college is surrounded by cops”, I nodded.
“Hmm, ok, his veins on hands got damage it seems.” Jinesh said
“But how?” I asked.

“Anas got trapped in the canteen when fight was going on and, Jagan broke the canteen window glass and went inside, what a man he is” Jinesh said…One of the aggressive characters in our 8 members group…….
We reached the hospital and saw Rafeeq in front of the main gate, we moved together to causality.

“Rafeeq you could have taken him to medical college…..??? Who told you to stop here, cops might come here and moreover this is a private hospital”, I said
“I know but he didn’t allow me to go there, his body is too weak and he cannot walk…” Rafeeq said.

“Lemme speak to him first ...” I said.
He was almost down and cannot move, “dear can we move to medical college from here”, I nodded…

“No”, he said, his voice was hard, I know him very well. He is there with me from first day of my college life……

“Call my sister and tell her to come here, she is in Trivandrum today” he said…
“Is it necessary dear? You know, we can handle this situation ...”I said.
He just closed his eyes and I didn’t asked anything more ….
“What happened? Is it a political issue?” the doctor started asking questions.
It reminded me the Lab vivas.

“No, No it’s an accident and he fall down from bike…”I said.
It was very clear from his face that he don’t want to attend this case. May be he understood from our faces that it’s going to be a police case.
“We can’t admit this guy here, you know it’s a private hospital and we can’t take any accident and police cases….k”, doctor said

Screwed up completely, Doono what to do now???????????????????

”Oh my god I forgot to call his sister” I took Jagan’s mob and told to Rafeeq to call her and I started to reception to book an ambulance. I knew it was risky and anytime we would be caught. I was frightened but I have to do this. The meaning of friendship I got from these guys and I could not leave him here like this. I know, if tomorrow something happens to me then these guys only will be there to help me out.

“Take care of him”, I said to Jinesh and Rafeeq and moved to reception
“Excuse me, I need an ambulance” I told the receptionist sitting there.
“Please fill this form and we will arrange” she replied

.“Hello, I will fill it but first you call ambulance his condition is severe and we can’t wait here for a long time, Please”, I said

She got a phone cal, I don’t know what was the conversation. “Wait for ten min we will arrange “, she said and she went somewhere
.
I was just staring at the people standing there and I felt insecure. I felt something really bad is going to happen now. Now it’s almost over ten min now and there was no sign of the receptionist. One auto came and stopped in front of the entrance.

”oh man gone its cops in mufti….”

I thought to run but somebody held me on my collar …I just turned and then
“Phtaak..” It sounded like the ear drum tearing sound from a loudspeaker and it kept humming inside my ear for some more time.

First slap in my life from a police man.

*****************************************************************
All these ran through my mind.

Few min ago we were walking through the Ramaiah college campus which was a beautiful one for an evening walk. Not because it is greenish and quiet one, but also we could see some pretty faces around there, which was our primary aim. We reached the medical college now and for a moment of stupidity I said

“You know, you will get body full check up here for 20 rupees”
“This is not your regular Idly shop..” Manoop smiled and said

All of them started laughing and I didn’t like that….
“We will do one thing, we will go there and ask, you guys ready?”, I said

“We will be there in the park, you go and check and if possible do a full body check up”, Saneesh replied

“Hmm you guys never believe me, I hate you all”. I got angry and said

“Come on Tinu, don’t be silly like this, mistakes will happen sometimes, its k”, Again teasing from Mahesh.

I have no other option and I cannot hold my anger for a long time. I just started laughing with them and continued our walk..

Then I saw her from there and she was crying. “Please come fast, He is trying to kill me…” She was calling out for help on phone.
“Get inside the car”, I heard a sound .He is a tall guy standing in front of a car and shouting at her.

“What is happening here?????” Manoop asked.

“Don’t know but something going wrong” from Mahesh.

Normally in Bangalore no one will take risk and do some thing if something happens to somebody, and same thing happening here too. No one is trying to help her.

She wore yellow t-shirt and blue jeans. Her shirt was full of blood and she was heavily bleeding from her nose, that idiot has hit her, its look like

My smile face has got changed after watching this. I just looked to my friends faces. It looks like no one is interested to help her. We just continued our walk.

This is disturbing me like anything; I am nervous, don’ know what to do???????

What will happen if I helped her.?
“I don’t know who is she, but she needs some help”

I turned and said
“Hey we are going to help her, I cannot leave her here like this, this is Blre and no one will take risk but we are human and we are going to do this now..”

Once I get tensed then it’s very difficult to get English from my mouth…………

She is sitting near car parking and crying. He has left it seems.

She looks like a north Indian,” how can I ask in my own language to her??”

I asked Manoop to talk to her. She didn’t stop crying.

“Hey are you ok? Do you need any help??” She is not responding for his Mallu-English slang.

I came forward and said her in Malayalam “ezhunnelkku namukku hospitalil pokam” - :”Hey stand up, we will go to hospital” that’s what I meant.

I don’t know what she understood from my words, fortunately she stood up and started walking with me and others followed me.

“Enayithu”,security asked. (In Eng:what happened???)

Saneesh knows littile bit of Kannada, and he answered it in Kannada.

I took her to the causality.

”What happened??”, the good looking lady doctor asked.

“Accident”, that’s the maximum I can say in English in this condition.

She took a form to fill and asked me “what’s your wife’s name?”
I stood still and it took few seconds to recover from that shock. This was my first time in this kind of situation. I have seen same kind of dialog in some of the movies but this was really happening in front of me.
I just recovered from the shock “She is not my wife”, I replied….

“Is she your friend”, again question from lady doctor.

I wanted to tell that I got her from road side, but my idiot mouth and mind which lost the connection didn’t allow me speak in English.
“no”, I said. We must thank the person who invented the words “Yes” and “No”.

Then it was like one more Engineering Lab viva, hundreds of questions in a minute.

If this was in kerala, I would have been answered all her questions

After some time I got irritated and I said

“Enikku ee penninne road sidli ninnu kittyatha,aaro idichu mooki panchar aaki,appo njan vicharchu sahayikkamennu”.

Eng: I got her from road side, someone made her nose like plain Nan, so I thought to help her….

Junior doctors were looking each other and they were like electric post, what this guy is saying.

From the other side one nurse started laughing after hearing this. I got relieved after hearing that smile and I knew it is a Mallu nurse.

“Chechy enne sahaayikku, please,enikkivale arinjuda”,I said …. I was asking for help from her.

So I got a translator and the doctors started asking her and I told her in Malayalam which she translated back to them in kannada.

While the girl was trying to create a new Cauvery in Bangalore, the doctor asked her name.
She didn’t reply.
“What’s your name?” again she asked.

For one second she stopped crying and I bit happy at that moment….

“Gayatri”,she said,the doctor started fill the form.

“What’s your age?”

“24”,she said……

“How this happned?, who was that guy who hits you?”,doctor asked

The moment she started asking questions the girl started crying again and extended the length of the river.
“What’s you name”,Doctor asked me

“Why should I say my name,I just thought to help her and now they want to know my name”

“Tinu”,I said.

“Ok Tinu do one thing, go to reception and open a new file”, she said.

I bit happy but because I have to pay only 20 rupees to open a new file and started walking towards reception.

“Hey what happen? Did she say anything? What’s her name?” questions from my friends..

“I will tell you all that later ,you people come with me to reception I will prove you how much we have to pay for opening a new file”, I said

“Gayatri,age 24, Its an accident case and doctors told me to open a new file”, I said to the reception guy.

I just looked to my friends face and said “see see, how much he is going to take now?”

“Pay 110 rupees at the counter”, I was shocked after hearing that and my friends started laughing at me. Second time in this evening I became idiot.
“Ok ok, I will meet you all after sometime, let me give this thing to doctor”, I said and ran away from reception………….

“Show this to counter, she needs to take X-ray”, mallu sister said…….

Oh my god screwed up ,”should I pay for this” , I asked…

“Yeah you have to, because you are the care taker now…”,she replied..

I never knew that this Gayatri is going to spend this much of money from me…

I turned back and walked towards counter, I didn’t mind my friends..

“How much I have to pay for X-ray”,I asked

“You have to pay 250 for X-ray”, got a mind blowing reply from counter man.
I took my purse and flipped it.. oh my god I have only 200 rupees left now, what I will do now.

“hey no need to pay that amount, she don’t want further treatment here, she called her cousin ,she will come and take her to another hospital, but she wanted to meet you”, one lady doctor came and said…..

She stopped crying but she is upset I understood from her face. From the doctors she got to know my name.

“Tinu I don’t have money now, I will call you and give you the money tomorrow, is it ok? She asked.

“Hey its ok, no issue”,I said…..

“What’s your mobile number”,she asked….

“9916835652”,I replied…

“Thanks Tinu,I will call you and give you your money k, thanks once again”,
I thought to ask what happened to her, but why should I go too deep, even I don’t know her.

I smiled and walked towards exit gate, and explained all these things to my friends…

“We already late, shall we move to room”, I said.
I bit happy today and first time after college life I am doing this kind of good things…when I reached room I spend some time watching T.V and then I decided to take a shower. When I was taking shower the mobile rang.
“Yeah its her Gayatri” I thought and I ran to take the call
Oh my god it’s not a call ,its an sms from Xtian…..

“hey are you fine,I wanted to tell you something serious…….. :( ”

What is this????? Every time this dynamic girl will put me under tension, don’t know what she is going to tell………..

The call I was waiting for never came…. For almost one month thought she might call me. After all Bangalore is a busy place and she might also be busy with her works. If I happen to see her in a crowd I will recognize her, even if she doesn’t…..........................................................................

Into the garden city (Part 3-Life with Abhi................)

"Whenever we were surrounded by lot of good friends we would not think about small things…” Moreover she doesn’t have a mobile to contact.I appreciated her in my mind because “she was absolutely following her principles…..”

When I was doing the design course, me, Juno, Shafy and one more his friend Abhilash were staying together. Abhi was 4 months junior to us in college while doing this course. I remember having a wonderful time during that time.

Abhilash’s character was entirely different, he will be too angry sometimes and sometimes he will behave like a small kid. His mind was always disturbed coz of his family disputes. He was just another example of how domestic disputes can change some ones mind and thinking. His father and mother stayed separately because of that and he was living with his mother till that time. During the initial stages I struggled a lot to make a friendship with him. But gradually I made a good friendship and came closer despite of those small misunderstandings.

After finishing our course only three of us got job (Me, Levin, sreejith or popularly known as “coco”) and others were planned to go back to hometown and it was time to say good bye to some of them. After seeing Shafy’s sad face I felt too bad and I thought why did I get that job?? Me and he started same day from Eranakulam and now he is planning to go back :( moreover he is a close friend of mine. But Abhi stayed back to complete his course.

After Shafy left Bangalore, for few days it was too boring. But Abhi gave me a good company and finally his turn arrived. He completed his course and decided to move back to Tvm. I told him to stay back in Bangalore one more week and he extended his travel.

Finally that day arrived we packed all his dress and I carried one of his heavy bag. We went to Majestic to catch the train, his train was at 5 15, we reached there at 5 itself, walked towards platform number 5, I told him a lot things.”Be a good boy and help your mother ………..” He was a kind of person who never had contact with girls and that day when we started from our room one girl smiled on him. He was too happy and even in train he was the only boy in the entire compartment and he got a side window seat opposite to a good looking gal. When the train took from platform he smiled and I know I would miss him but I didn’t show my sad face to him. I smiled and said “take care……………..”

Exactly after one week when I was in office Juno came to my cabin and said, “Abhi went for swimming in a temple pond and drowned…..”
It was a shock for me, we all of us (Juno, Levin, Sreejith, Hashif) took a bus and went to tvm. I haven’t seen his face. It was my mistake, I could have stopped him from going and made him stay with me for one more week…..…


We met his father for the first time at the funeral. Shafy understood from my face that I wanted to say something to him. We called him out side and said “uncle if u were here with Abhi and his mother this would have never happened, please forget all the past things and please stay together at least for getting a good life in heaven” He didn’t speak a single word al all, I said in mind “what kind of a man he is”
I could not see the face of his mother..I never had the courage too..That day I stayed at Juno’s home and we returned to blre next day itself.
After a few months later as a part of my office work, I was in tvm and I went to abhi’s home with Juno’s father. But we found out that his mother was not there. She was staying with her cousins. We went there, when I said that my name was Tinu, she started crying and said all the things I did the last day when abhi left Bangalore. I cant describe my feeling then………

I heard from juno some months back that Abhi’s father and mother were staying together now, I was too happy when I heard that.
Its too hard to believe now too that he passed way,because I likes him too much………………………….